


with your shield, or on it

by insignem



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Falling In Love, M/M, Medium Burn, Meet-Cute, Mutual Pining, Rating may go up, Rugby, Sports, crew/rowing, ice hockey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insignem/pseuds/insignem
Summary: Nicky moves to the States for college, joins the rowing team, and finds himself playing on crew's intramural ice hockey team against their most heated rivals: rugby. If only the most attractive guy on the ice wasn't on the other team...Joe, a sophomore on the rugby team, can barely skate. He's only playing to fill in for his teammates... until he meets a cute rower and keeps finding excuses to get out on the ice.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 38
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is embarrassingly self-indulgent. I have a few other WIPs that I would also like to be working on, but the inspiration struck to bang out the introduction for this one, and so here we are. This is... more than a little bit based on real life. So much so that if any of my friends from college happen to read it, they will immediately know that it's me writing it. I hope you enjoy me turning my past personal life into a Joe x Nicky romcom (it needed to happen at some point), and I hope you stick around for the gratuitous information about my favorite activities (mostly rowing; I have at least one other canon universe Nile-centric rowing story planned). This is also the first like fluffy, trope-filled AU I've ever written; it's not quite my usual fic style but I think it'll be fun to try, and I hope you like it! 
> 
> The title comes from a phrase that Spartan mothers would say to their sons when they went into battle ("come back with your shield, or on it"). You'll see why... Andy is a classics major, and a little intense. I have lots of thoughts about how all of the characters fit into this AU, but it's interesting trying to retain some of their chronology and backstories from canon in this setting. I generally really like AUs that manage to align pretty closely with canon, just with whatever twist their premise employs, so I'm going to try to do that here to the extent possible.
> 
> Rowing/Crew are synonymous for the sport and are used somewhat interchangeably, but for example, you can say "rowing team" but you wouldn't say "crew team." I am delighted to further explain any references that you're unfamiliar with (this is based on the athletics system at US universities so I know it may not be familiar to everyone); please hit me up in the comments!

Nicky is hunched over his desk, drowsing into his philosophy reading, when his phone chimes with a message. He jumps, startled back to alertness, and glances at the screen.

 _Huh?_ The message is from Andy, the captain of the women’s rowing team. Nicky finds her vaguely terrifying, and until this moment, he hadn’t known she was aware of his existence. He had joined the freshman men’s team a few months ago, at the start of the school year, and had moved up to varsity at the end of the season – it wasn’t quite enough time to have gotten to know many of the upperclassmen on the team, particularly the women.

Still- Andy must have heard his name from someone, because the message is clearly directed at him. _Sup frosh_ , it reads. _Heard you might have some blades. We could use another player for our game tonight. Meet us at the rink at 10:00._

It’s not a question, though from what Nicky knows of Andy, he’s not surprised. He glances towards his closet, where his hockey skates and stick sit hopefully. He _had_ mentioned to one of the juniors on the team that he’d grown up playing hockey, before he’d started rowing – and he had brought his equipment all the way from Italy to college in the States, in the hopes that the infamous American obsession with sports might give him the opportunity to play again.

Turns out, it had – he’d heard that a handful of members of the rowing team formed an intramural hockey team in the winter, but he’d been too shy – or at least, too conscious of his place as a newcomer – to ask if he could join. Well, here’s his chance. He looks at his watch – it’s 9:45 now, and a long walk to the athletic complex. He closes his philosophy book, all sleepiness forgotten. The reading will have to wait. _On my way_ , he sends back.

He’s giddy as he quickly changes his clothes, digs out his gloves from the closet, and strings his skates through his stick. Jogging out of his dorm with the stick slung over his shoulder, he finds himself grinning – he can’t wait to get back on the ice.

As he’s heading through the quiet nighttime campus, his phone chimes a few more times. _There are helmets here._ And, _We’re playing rugby. Big rivals. Bring your A game._

No pressure, then! Nicky has heard a little bit about the rivalry between crew and rugby. As the two biggest club sports on campus, they compete for funding and for athletes. Apparently, they compete on the ice as well.

Despite his hurried pace, he’s cold by the time he gets to the rink, his breath fogging the air around him. He strides right to the front doors of the athletic center and pulls, only to meet resistance. He tries the next, and then the next, all down the bank of doors at the main entrance, but none of them open. He swears and looks at his watch. It’s just after 10:00. The fitness center officially closes at 9:30, he knows, but he hadn’t expected all of the doors to be locked. He peers inside, but doesn’t see anyone in the main lobby. He glances back the way he came, and doesn’t see anyone heading from campus either.

He shoots a message to Andy. _How do I get in?_ He waits a moment, but there’s no response. The game has probably already started, and he doubts she’s looking at her phone anymore. Side doors, maybe?

He heads down a flight of stairs to where he knows there’s a door tucked into the ground level of the massive complex. There’s a figure ahead of him, already trying to door. It doesn’t budge. They guy turns around, and Nicky can barely see his face in the dark, but he seems to light up when he notices Nicky.

 _“_ Hey!” the guy calls as he jogs over to him. “Are you here for hockey?”

Nicky gestures amusedly at the stick over his shoulder, “No, this is just for decoration.”

The guy laughs. It’s a nice laugh. He’s closer now, and Nicky can see his eyes crinkle around his grin. As he takes in his face, he decides the guy must be on the rugby team – he would certainly have noticed him if he’d been at crew practices. Fuck, he’s cute, Nicky thinks, and takes a second too long to answer the next question the guy asks him.

“Do you know how we get in?”

“Uhh… oh, yeah, no, no, sorry, I don’t,” he fumbles. “I was hoping you would”

“Hm.” The guy frowns. “My buddies told me they’d leave a door propped open, but I figured it’d be this one.”

Nicky thinks for a moment. “We could go all the way around the building. The rink’s in the back; maybe there’s an open door closer to it?”

“Good call,” the guy says, already moving. Nicky hurries after him. “I’m Joe,” he says, as they climb back up the stairs.

“Nicky,” he replies, and Joe repeats it after him, imitating his accent. Nicky flushes. His English is good, but his first few months at American university have made him acutely aware that his accent is quite strong.

“You don’t have to say it like that,” he says, and Joe pauses to look at him.

“I’m sorry; I wasn’t mocking you – just trying to get it right.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t think you were- it’s just, Nicky is what I have Americans call me because it’s easier to get right than my actual name. You can say it however you want.”

Joe looks like he’s about to say something, but then seems to decide against it, and just nods as they continue walking.

“Is this your first time playing?” Nicky asks, trying to smooth over the brief awkwardness of the moment.

“Oh yeah,” Joe responds. “I’ve only skated a few times in my life.” He holds up the skates in his hand. “These are my roommate’s, and they are definitely too big for me.” He nods towards Nicky’s gear. “You look way more legit.”

Nicky shrugs, a little self-consciously. “I played as a kid, but nothing serious. Just excited to hop into IM. I was psyched to hear that crew had a team.”

“Ohh you’re on crew!” Joe is grinning again, even more broadly. “That explains why we haven’t met yet. Thought I knew all the new rugby recruits. I’m surprised I haven’t seen you around, though.”

“Ah, well, I’m a first-year,” Nicky says.

“I figured,” Joe tells him; “I just think I’d have noticed you around campus. It’s not a big school.”

Is he flirting? Nicky isn’t sure. Joe is clearly way out of his league – and the chances that he likes guys don’t seem high – but then again, he doesn’t think he’s terribly noticeable, and he’s not sure why else Joe would imply he’d have caught his eye. He’s almost too lost in this mental debate to notice that Joe has continued, but he catches the tail end and pieces together what’s been said.

“…My freshman roommate is on crew. Lykon, do you know him?”

There’s probably only one Lykon at the school, and definitely only one on the rowing team. “I do know him!” Nicky says. “Lykon’s great. Super friendly.” His voice comes out too eager to make up for the silence he’d left after Joe’s maybe-flirting-but-maybe-not statement, and he winces.

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy,” Joe says, and Nicky knows he needs to say something to prevent another silence falling.

“So, you’re a sophomore?” he says, lamely.

Joe doesn’t seem to mind. “Yep,” he says, “but a total newbie to IM hockey. I think this game came up short notice – kinda a pre-season thing, before it really gets going – and they didn’t have quite enough guys to pull it off. My roommate couldn’t make it, so he gave me his skates and told me not to make a total fool of myself.”

“Ahh,” Nicky says, wondering where his wit has gone. Joe pauses, then says seriously, “I’m not sure I should be spilling these secrets to the enemy, particularly not an enemy as skilled as yourself.”

Nicky laughs, then finally comes up with something to say. “So that’s why we’re out here, huh?” He gestures to the vast darkness of the backside of the athletic complex. “You’re just trying to sabotage my team? Lure me out into the dark to prevent me from playing?”

Joe chuckles. “Indeed. I only pretended that side door was locked. You’ve uncovered my nefarious plan.”

“Shame, then,” says Nicky, pointing. “Your plan has been foiled. I seem to see some light spilling out from the crack in that door over there.”

Indeed, there is a door propped open ahead of them. They go through, and Nicky finds himself in a nondescript hallway smelling vaguely of sweaty hockey pads. He sees signs for locker rooms – that explains the smell. He doesn’t miss that part of playing hockey, and he’s glad that IM is non-checking – helmets are required, but none of the other protective gear is. He tries a door, but it’s locked. Of course.

Joe grabs his elbow, and Nicky jumps. “Sorry!” he says, grinning. “I swear I’m not actually trying to murder you.” Isn’t he, though? Nicky wonders. With his absurdly nice smile and his maybe-flirting and his gorgeous brown eyes that Nicky can see more clearly now in the brightly lit hallway? Definitely trying to murder him.

Joe is gesturing down the hallway. “I think the skate changing room we use is that way.” He points to the right, which looks identical to the left. Nicky generally has a good sense of direction, but the underside of the athletic center is a maze he hasn’t figured out yet. He shrugs, and follows Joe.

They find the skate changing room, where Nicky sees team jackets he recognizes and scattered blade guards. Definitely the right place. He laces up his skates quickly, then turns to see Joe struggling with his.

Before he can stop himself, he strides over and kneels in front of him. “Like this,” he says, and shows him how to wrap the laces around.

Joe smiles at him, and he’s breathtaking, with his face this close to Nicky’s. “Thank you,” he says, his voice a delightful rasp.

Nicky swallows hard and stands back up quickly. “See you on the ice,” he says.

Still smiling, Joe calls after him, “It was nice to meet you, Nicky, or whatever your real name is… Take it easy on me out there!”

Nicky swears he sees him wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up - the first game! I'm also quite excited for the rest of the crew (haha) to turn up when it makes sense for them to do so. I have lots of thoughts as to their majors and roles on the teams and such. This will be fun! Please let me know what you think so far :) 
> 
> I'm on tumblr also at [insignem](https://insignem.tumblr.com/), where I'm tagging this ["college im au"](https://insignem.tumblr.com/tagged/college-im-au) and have reblogged three gifsets for visual inspiration of what Nicky and Joe look like in this... are those gifsets the reason I ended up writing this today? Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

Nicky waits awkwardly at the entrance to the ice, waiting for a gap in play to allow him to skate over to the bench where he sees a few upperclassmen he recognizes from crew.

He takes the moment to observe the gameplay, seeing that the nets – unguarded by goalies – are tipped forward, and that the players are aiming for the crescent of net, usually at the top, now facing the rest of the rink. A puck slams off the bottom bar, but play continues – so they have to lift it in order to score, then. It makes sense, in a game without goaltenders or pads. Everyone wears helmets, and a few of the athletes have hockey gloves, but otherwise they’re dressed much like Nicky is, in loose athletic clothes.

With five athletes on the ice for each team, the benches on both sides are thin – no wonder they’d wanted reinforcements in the form of Nicky and Joe. Nicky watches as Andy snatches the puck from one of the women’s rugby players, and leads a breakaway towards the other end of the ice. Nicky has heard that she’s a ferocious athlete, but now he sees it for himself: she’s lightning fast and skilled with her stick; before anyone can even get to the far end she’s executed a perfect shot straight to the center of the net.

Nicky takes this opportunity to step onto the ice and skate over to the crew bench. His skates are sharp and slice cleanly across the ice, and he’s already smiling a little as he glides to a stop at the bench. It feels absurdly good to be back on the ice.

The team is regrouping after Andy’s goal, and she throws him a sharp nod as he arrives. “Glad you could make it. We’re down one goal, and still have two-thirds of the game to play. Are you ready to hop in?”

Nicky nods eagerly, and skates out to take his place outside the center circle. Andy goes to take the faceoff, matched up against a woman in a red sweatshirt that Nicky recognizes – he’s seen her hanging out with Andy and Lykon, but she must play for the women’s rugby team, because he’s never seen her at crew practice. She winks at Andy with a smirk on her face, but as soon as the puck drops she’s all business – she explodes into action, winning the faceoff with a blur of a pass to a guy on Nicky’s wing, before he can even process that it’s coming towards them.

Thankfully, he catches up quickly enough to dog the guy with the puck, darting in and snatching it back just as he goes to pass it back to the woman in red. He glances up the ice and sees that Andy has gotten herself into an open position, perfect for him to pass. He shoots it to her, then takes off himself.

They zoom up the ice together, passing the puck back and forth as the rugby players try helplessly to get in the way. Andy sets Nicky up for a perfect shot on goal – he even has a moment to take his time as he aims – and he nails it; slapping the puck satisfyingly into the net. A cheer bursts up from the rowers back at the bench, and Nicky allows himself a small smile before he skates back down the ice.

After that, the game is a blur. Andy and Nicky are definitely crew’s best skaters, and Nicky only knows the name of a few of the others, but they do a decent job of running defense and setting them up to take shots on the net. The rugby team has some excellent hockey players – their stick skills outshine even Andy’s – but they aren’t nearly as quick on their skates, except for the woman in red, who has clearly perfected the art of darting in and out to snatch the puck away before they even realize she’s there. She’s constantly dogging Andy, and Nicky can tell the two of them have been going at this for a long time. Andy’s style is more aggressive, and Nicky is amused to see her throwing elbows a little more than he would have thought would be acceptable for a non-checking league.

Nicky catches on quickly, and makes himself open for passes, letting his skating legs come back to him as he covers as much ice as he can to make up for the weaker skaters on their side. He scores once more and assists two other goals, though rugby manages to squeak in three more in that time as well. We definitely need to work on our defense, Nicky thinks, exhausted after a failed sprint to block the latest goal, and realizes that he hasn’t yet gone over to the bench to swap out for a break.

He pants, collecting himself for a moment, then sees Joe step out onto the ice from the rugby side. Nicky gulps. He’s been intensely focused on the game for the past half hour, and had almost forgotten the absurdly handsome man he’d met on his way in. Joe is… _wobbling_ in the too-big skates, looking entirely uncomfortable on the ice, and it shouldn’t be as cute as it is.

He realizes he’s staring and grimaces, turning his attention back to the faceoff. But he’s distracted through the next few plays, unable to resist keeping an eye on Joe as he helplessly wanders back and forth, trying to jab his stick towards the puck when it comes near him.

Rugby scores again, and Nicky forces his brain back into the game, fighting desperately for the puck against the renewed vigor of the rugby team. He twists in the tangle of players, freeing himself just enough to toss a pass out to Andy, then skates backwards quickly to extricate himself from the crush. His gaze is so focused on Andy as she sprints towards the net that he doesn’t notice the figure beside him until it’s too late– a body crashes into him, knocking him to the ice, then falling heavily on top of him.

Shocked, Nicky stares up at the face of Joe, who has barely managed to stop himself from crushing Nicky with the hands that are bracketed on each side of his head. Joe looks just as shocked as Nicky, then horrified. “Are you okay?? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t know how to stop in these things yet…”

Is he blushing? “I’m fine!” he assures Joe, still trapped underneath him. “Are you alright?”

“I think so,” Joe says, and goes to push himself off Nicky. Nicky starts to stand up too, but then Joe slips, and grabs Nicky on his way down, causing them both to fall to the ice once more.

Nicky can’t help himself. He starts to laugh, his chest shaking with mirth, giddy again with the proximity and the absurdity of the situation. The heat of Joe’s body above him is a nice contrast to the coldness of the ice against his back, and it seems like fate that the cute guy he met outside would be the one who manages to crash into him like something out of a romcom. He reluctantly rolls out from under Joe, giving him a hand to help him stand up. Joe hangs on to his arm for a second as he steadies himself.

Action at the net catches Nicky’s eye – his teammates are fighting fiercely for another goal, and he’s got to get there. “I’m sorry!” Joe calls after him as he skates off, and Nicky can’t stop grinning. He feels ridiculous.

Andy scores, tying it up, and the game gets messy after that. It’s late, both teams are tired with their few subs, and people start slapping the puck around in desperation. Nicky catches a wide shot off a rugby player’s stick and smashes it hard towards the net. It lands.

The rowers erupt, banging their sticks against the boards, and rugby concedes defeat. Andy shakes hand with their captain, then ruffles Nicky’s hair with her ungloved hand. “You did well, frosh. We try to play every Tuesday night; Thursdays too once the official season gets going. You in?”

“Definitely,” Nicky tells her, sweaty and exhausted and thrilled with the joy of playing.

Back in the skate changing room, Joe finds him again. “I know it may be hard to believe at this moment in time, but I do promise that I’m not trying to kill you. I just wasn’t lying about my lack of skating skills.”

He flashes those brilliant teeth at Nicky, then looks him up and down in a way that Nicky hopes he isn’t misinterpreting. “You, on the other hand… you’re quite skilled.”

Nicky blushes and ducks his head, busying himself with his laces. “You’ll get there,” he says to his skates. “You just have to practice.”

He glances back up at Joe, who looks like he’s about to say something, but gives an odd shake of his head and just goes, “See you next time,” as he heads out with his teammates.

Nicky pulls his boots on, confused. Was Joe flirting? Was he just being friendly? Why did he go hot and then cold? If he was flirting, how would Nicky flirt back, without scaring him away? He’s too new to the American college courtship rituals – where making out drunk at parties seems to be the first step to any relationship, if it even gets to the point of being a relationship - to understand any of it.

The woman in red catches up to him as he heads out. “Hey, Nicky, right? I’m Quynh.” She holds out her hand and they shake. She looks at him ruefully. “I hate to say it, but you’re quite good. I wish Andy hadn’t found you. Don’t suppose I could convince you to play for rugby?”

Nicky laughs. “You’re quite good yourself,” he tells her truthfully, “But I’m pretty committed to crew.” Andy comes up behind them and slings an arm around Quynh’s shoulder.

“Stop trying to poach my athletes!” she says with an affectionate shove. Quynh just laughs and kisses her cheek.

Catching Nicky’s raised eyebrow, Andy explains, “Quynh and I have been dating since freshman year. We just have certain… ideological differences about which club sport is superior.”

“Fraternizing with the enemy, noted,” Nicky says solemnly, and Quynh laughs with delight.

“He learns quickly!” she giggles, then invites him to hang out back at the suite that she and Andy share with Lykon. How Lykon, a sophomore, managed to sneak into upperclassmen housing with juniors Andy and Quynh mystifies Nicky, and as much as he appreciates the offer to be included, it’s late and he still has that abandoned philosophy reading waiting for him. He politely declines, and heads in the direction of his dorm, lost in thought.

He’s thrilled he gets to play hockey again. And he hopes that he’ll see Joe again.

*

Joe is fucked. No doubt about it. His friends always tease him for the ease with which he develops crushes, but this feels different. This feels meant to be. Their meeting outside the rink? The fact that of all people, Nicky is the one he cringingly managed to fall on top of? He is a man looking for love, and cute-crew-guy-from-hockey-Nicky is now firmly at the top of his crush list.

Joe thumps his head back against the wall and squeezes his eyes shut, which doesn’t help to erase the image of the thin material of Nicky’s athletic pants stretching tightly across his fantastic ass and absurdly beautiful thighs. _Rowers_. Well, and hockey players, he thinks. He has a competency kink, he knows this, and in addition to being attractive, Nicky is very, very good at hockey.

He’s also fun to talk to, has a ridiculously cute accent, knows what it’s like to be an international student, is kind enough to go out of his way to help his rival, has a lovely smile, and dazzling eyes… and he’d shut down each of Joe’s attempts to flirt, he reminds himself, frustrated.

He felt like he’d been laying it on thick – maybe too thick. But each time Nicky had gone silent or looked away, and Joe wasn’t going to force it. He’d been so tempted to ask Nicky to help him practice getting better at skating, but he hadn’t wanted to make him uncomfortable. More than likely, Nicky wasn’t even into guys.

Still… he couldn’t resist browsing for hockey skates online. His roommate would need the ones he’d borrowed back, and if he wanted to see Nicky again, he’d need an excuse to show up to future games – no matter how much he might end up embarrassing himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the fall incredibly contrived? Yes. Did it happen to me in real life with the guy who went on to become my college boyfriend? Also yes. Do I hope he never, ever comes across this? 3000000% yes. 
> 
> Quick clarifying note on the structures of sports at American universities (or at least, the one I went to…) most schools have varsity teams for various sports, which are generally governed by the NCAA, funded by the school, and have recruited athletes. They compete against other schools and ultimately try to win national championships. Club sports (crew and rugby are both club, in this world) are a mixed bag – in some cases, you have a club team when there is also a varsity level for the sport, and the club team offers athletes who are good at the sport but not quite good enough to play varsity, or who want a slightly less commitment-intensive experience but still want to compete against other schools, an option. Crew and rugby, however, are often club because the school does not offer them at the varsity level. They compete intercollegiately, often against varsity programs, and train just as seriously, but aren’t funded by the school and don’t have recruiting power. That’s the case in this story. And then you have intramural sports (IM) like these hockey games, which are casual, intraschool competition – you form a team with your friends and play for fun, basically pick-up but with a little more structure. So these teams will have a mix of skilled and unskilled athletes, and are often coed, like they are here.
> 
> Okay, I lied about that being quick. I hope it makes sense. Come talk to me, in the comments here, or on tumblr at [insignem](https://insignem.tumblr.com/)! I’d love to hear what you think so far.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys... there is a rowing term in this chapter. Nicky spends some time training in the team erg room. Ergs are rowing machines that we use for training when we can't be on the water (they're also used generally for fitness and testing, but in winter climates, they're the primary form of sport-specific training that can be done while it's icy outside). [Concept2](https://www.concept2.com/indoor-rowers/model-d) is pretty much the gold standard for rowers; catch [this video of a US collegiate team training on them](https://youtu.be/sQP3wsGbPXk) (but assume Nicky's team is smaller than this). If you have any questions about rowing/erging hit me up - I am always happy to try to get others into the sport, and it's a fantastic workout!
> 
> Anyway enough rambling; I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Joe was right – they definitely never cross paths on campus, because now that Nicky’s keeping an eye out for him, he doesn’t see him anywhere. There are two major dining halls, so the rugby team must frequent a different one than crew does – Nicky is tempted to hang out there for a lunch period to see if Joe shows up, but he can’t lure himself away from the safety of the rowing team’s preferred dining hall, where he always knows he’ll have someone to sit with. As a freshman, that guarantee is worth gold.

Frustrated at having to wait til the following Tuesday to see Joe again, Nicky turns to the internet. First, he tries to find the rugby team roster, but there are no photos and no Joes on the list. Perhaps it’s a bit out of date, he thinks. He searches the student directory and pulls up a list of Joes and Josephs, then tries to search the names on Facebook and Instagram, but none of them are the right guy. He might not be on social media, Nicky reasons, or maybe he’s spelling his name wrong somehow?

He could ask Lykon what Joe’s last name is, but then he’d have to explain why, and that seems a level of embarrassing he’s not quite ready to face. The thought gives him an idea, though, and he searches for various iterations of “Joe” in Lykon’s friend list. Nothing. Then he remembers that there’s a guy in his religion seminar who wears a rugby jacket. What was that guy’s name? He checks through the addressees on the latest email from the professor, then pulls up his classmate’s profile.

His cover photo is clearly a rugby team photo, with all the men in their uniforms, kneeling on the pitch. Joe is in it! Nicky peers at him, admiring the way the tight rugby shirt accentuates his well-defined chest. A little embarrassed at himself, he pulls his eyes away and goes to check the tags – but there’s nothing.

He closes his laptop in defeat, more than a little bit sheepish. Crushing on probably-straight boys is a bad idea, and procrastinating his lit paper for fruitless internet stalking is definitely not a good use of his time. He’ll just have to try to talk to Joe on Tuesday.

On Tuesday, Nicky wakes with a jumpy feeling in his stomach. It lasts through the morning, distracting him during his Latin class, where he mangles the lines of Ovid he’s supposed to be translating. By lunchtime, he remembers that Joe had only been borrowing skates from his roommate who couldn’t play, and the jumpiness turns to a knot. He might not actually see Joe at any more hockey games. But he had said, “See you next time,” hadn’t he? Had he meant the next game specifically, or just a vague, “See you next time I see you”? Nicky has no way of knowing. He just has to wait til the evening.

The nervous anticipation continues all the way up til the moment Nicky walks through the door of the skate changing room, already half disappointed he hadn’t seen Joe on his way in, like their perfect meeting the week before. Then he takes in the room, and his disappointment doubles. Aside from the rowers, he doesn’t recognize anyone in the room from the week before. Unless rugby had somehow managed to replace all of its players, they were playing a different team.

*

Joe spends the week checking on his package’s progress far too frequently. By the time Tuesday rolls around, the package is sitting stubbornly at a distribution center an hour away. It has decidedly not reached the campus mail center by the time they close, and he heads back to his room, frustrated.

His roommate is at his desk working on a problem set when Joe walks in. Lance is a nice-enough dude - he’s also on the rugby team, but other than that, they don’t have a lot in common. He looks up and throws Joe a nod. “Any chance I can borrow your skates again tonight?” Joe asks.

Lance looks surprised, and puts down his pencil. “You want to keep playing?” he asks. “Last week I had to beg you while you protested rather convincingly that you were an absolute liability on skates.”

Joe is aware that he’s faintly blushing. “Well, I am, but I had a better time than I thought. It was fun to take the rivalry with crew out on the ice. I actually ordered skates online, but they’re not here yet.”

“Hmm.” Lance still looks perplexed, but he reaches for his phone and starts scrolling through it. “Ah, here’s the schedule Q sent. Apparently she and Andy agreed to two match-ups before the real season gets going. The next one isn’t until after break. But we might have a scrimmage against some other team on Thursday.”

“Oh. I just assumed…” He trails off. Well, it does make sense. It would be a bit much for their two teams to play each other every week until the IM season starts. But for some reason, he hadn’t even considered that he might not have an excuse to see Nicky again tonight.

Lance raises an eyebrow. “I’ll probably play Thursday, but you can borrow my skates whenever if you want to practice before yours get here.”

“Thanks, but yours are a little big, and mine are supposed to get here imminently.” At least now, he’ll have a little more time to prepare to make less of a fool of himself in front of Nicky.

“Suit yourself,” Lance says, and turns back to his problem set.

*

The game is a good one – Lykon is there, and he’s almost as good as Andy, so Nicky doesn’t have to exhaust himself quite as much to keep the game tilted in their favor. The other team is solid, but there’s none of the desperate rivalry that was on display when they played rugby, so while Nicky has fun, he doesn’t come away quite as thrilled as the week before. He tries to tell himself that it has nothing to do with the absence of a certain absurdly attractive rugby player.

The rowers head back towards campus together after the game, and Nicky tries to keep his voice casual as he asks who they’re playing for next week’s game.

Andy gives him a strange look. “What?” he asks, self-conscious.

“Break starts next Tuesday,” Lykon tells him. “Everyone goes home for Thanksgiving after classes end on Tuesday. So, no game.”

“Ah.” Right. American holidays, which he hasn’t quite figured out yet.

Andy seems to read this, because she abruptly asks, “Do you need somewhere to go?”

Nicky is startled. He knows a lot of international students are going home with their roommates or friends for the holiday, but he’d lucked out with a single as a first-year, and hasn’t managed to quite make any close-enough friends yet who would have invited him. Andy definitely doesn’t fit that category. “No, thanks, I’m all set. I applied to stay on campus already. I just didn’t realize it was next week.”

Andy nods, looking a little relieved. “Q and I are going to her aunt and uncle’s, but I think one more might be too much for them. I stayed on campus my first year. It’s not so bad.”

Lykon looks apologetic. “I’d offer, but I think my mom would kill me. I brought my freshman roommate home last year and it didn’t go so well.”

Joe? He’s talking about Joe? Nicky tries to keep his voice casual as he asks, “Oh? What happened?”

“Oh, nothing bad. He was a great guest. But my mom felt the need to stress-clean the entire house and panicked over feeding him, so it was kind of unpleasant for everyone.”

Nicky cracks a smile. “I think my mom would be similar.”

*

Andy’s right – staying on campus isn’t bad at all. He’s never celebrated Thanksgiving, so it’s not like he’s missing out on anything, and he’s thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to explore the much quieter campus. Even in a few short months, it’s already come to feel like a second home.

He has the team erg room all to himself, and gets in some good, solitary hours of training – just the way he likes it. He goes to the rink a few times to run drills and sharpen his stick skills. He gets caught up on work for what feels like the first time all semester – and good timing, with finals coming up – and even has time to have a nice long call with his family back in Italy, and catch a few episodes of the new Netflix show everyone’s buzzing about.

The only downside is that with endless time to himself and very few people around to talk to, it’s far too easy to fall into daydreams about Joe, who he’s taken to thinking of as “cute rugby guy” in his head. “Joe” feels too familiar – they barely know each other, after all. Calling him “cute rugby guy” maintains distance, and reminds him that for all his fantasizing, the likelihood of anything ever happening between them is slim. Still, it’s nice to daydream.

*

Joe regrets his decision spend Thanksgiving with Lance’s family. For the second year in a row, he stuck feeling like an intrusion in someone else’s home, staying with people who are clearly flustered at working around a stranger during a family holiday. At least Lykon’s family had been kind and accommodating, though almost to a level that had made him uncomfortable. Here, submerged in the culture of suburban, white, wealthy Americans, he couldn’t feel more like an outsider. The only topic of conversation they can all engage with is rugby, which only gets them so far. Joe is incredibly glad he brought his sketchbook, which gives him something to do with his hands while he tries to stay out of the way of the family.

As he mindlessly doodles, he finds himself drawing a pair of eyes bridged by a strong nose, over and over. He feels a little silly when he realizes that he’s subconsciously thinking of a face he hasn’t seen in weeks, but that hasn’t left his mind. The striking eyes of the cute rower from hockey stare back at him from the page. He can’t wait to get back to campus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to note that I outlined the rest of the fic and added the tags "medium burn" and "mutual pining" - make of that what you will. I do aim to make this realistic (they won't be kept apart solely by silly plot contrivances that boil down to a lack of communication that you wouldn't think would happen in real life), but the inherent awkwardness of trying to navigate dating and social circles and such in college means they aren't just going to immediately, uncomplicatedly get together. 
> 
> More to come! I'd love to hear your thoughts, here in the comments or over on tumblr at [insignem](https://insignem.tumblr.com/)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entirely by accident, this chapter actually occurs precisely at the current time of year! In a non-COVID world, of course. I hope you enjoy it!

There are two weeks of classes left after Thanksgiving break, which means two more games – they all take a break for finals week, during which even Coach Copley eases up the rowing team’s training load. At lunch on Tuesday, Nicky spots Lykon and makes a beeline for his table.

“Hey!” Lykon greets him with his standard megawatt grin. He’s easily been one of the most welcoming upperclassmen on the team, and Nicky is grateful for the guy’s friendliness every day. “How was your break?”

Nicky smiles back and shares a few details, then asks Lykon about his own. The Thanksgiving break isn’t a long one, but it’s often the first time in the semester anyone really goes home, and Lykon seems refreshed from the time with his family. He pulls out his phone to show Nicky a picture of his family dog – a very cute, very fluffy pup of indeterminate origin - and Nicky misses his own family dog with a pang.

Eventually, though, he gets to the question he’s been bursting to ask: “So, hockey tonight? Do you know who we’re playing?”

Lykon thinks on it for a moment. “I don’t really know who most of the teams are yet this year. Why do you ask?”

Nicky feels his cheeks heat up and takes a hasty sip from his water glass. “I just had a lot of fun playing rugby a few weeks ago,” he says, trying to shrug dismissively.

Lykon doesn’t seem to catch anything odd about his behavior. “Leaning into the rivalry already, I like it!” he responds, then adds, “I think Quynh said rugby is playing on Thursday this week. But we should play them next.”

Nicky nods and thanks him for the information. He’ll just have to wait. No big deal.

*

Their game that night is disappointing. The other team is just a collection of friends – no other student org affiliation binding them together – but they’re _good_ in a way that crew can’t quite keep up with. They clearly all played hockey in high school – maybe they aren’t quite good enough to play for the school, but they’re definitely above the casual intramural player that populates crew’s bench.

Andy’s frustration afterwards is evident, and Nicky feels bad for her – he and Lykon are solid, but they’re not quite at her level, and she couldn’t salvage the game all on her own. Lykon is gamely trying to cheer her up – “Come on, Andromache, it’s just the pre-season; we’ll get ‘em in the real games” – but her icy façade doesn’t crack. Nicky is getting the sense that she absolutely despises losing.

Instead of heading back towards campus with them, she peels off in the direction of the team erg room. Nicky raises an eyebrow – it’s nearly 11pm, not exactly the time to get extra meters of training in – but Lykon just shakes his head as he starts to say something.

“Let her stew,” he says as they walk on. “Andy is obsessed with winning the intramural cup, which she hasn’t managed to do yet. She could totally play for a better team, but she has too much loyalty to give up on crew. We just have to hope we get rowers who can also play hockey – like you!”

Nicky laughs, trying to downplay how pleased he is at the compliment, and resolves to keep practicing to sharpen up his skills – he has a week til the next game against rugby.

*

Joe hasn’t made much progress on his skating since returning from Thanksgiving break, but he’s determined that he will at least learn to stop before his next game. As much as he’d secretly loved falling on top of Nicky, he doesn’t exactly want to repeat the experience with anyone else. Their game on Thursday isn’t against crew, and the team they play is not very good – lots of players more on Joe’s level of non-existent skating skills – so he doesn’t feel guilty that he’s hurting rugby’s chances as he wobbles around out on the ice. His new skates are stiff, but at least they fit him, and he’s found that if he plants himself near their goal he can do a decent job batting the puck away from others. All in all, he only falls twice.

When the game ends – an easy win for rugby – he makes himself skate a few laps around the rink for extra practice. It’s definitely getting smoother – and more fun – though he knows he must still look pretty silly.

Most of his teammates, including Lance, have already left, but he catches Quynh just as she’s leaving the skate changing room. “Hey, Q!” he calls after her. “Are we playing crew next week?”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Why do you ask?”

He shrugs. He doesn’t know Quynh well – the men’s and women’s rugby teams don’t intermingle much, except for the occasional formal and apparently IM hockey, because the league is coed – and he knows that some of the guys on the team can be dicks. He’s not surprised she’s wary of him. He’s also pretty sure that her girlfriend is the terrifying woman on the crew hockey team, and he wonders how to slip into conversation that he’s gay. The men’s team knows, and they’re pretty chill about it – some of them may be dicks, but generally not the homophobic type, unlike some other teams on campus – but he has no reason to think that Quynh might know.

Fuck it. “Uh, there’s just-” he awkwardly scrubs his hand across the back of his head. “I just thought one of the guys we played last time was really cute.”

She looks surprised for a second, then laughs with delight and jumps up and down. “Oh my gosh, who is it? Do you want me to ask Andy and Lykon about him?”

 _Shit_. “No, nonono, please don’t do that. Please don’t tell anyone.”

She gives him a look. “Why not?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets defensively. “I’d rather he didn’t hear about it from them! I don’t want him to think I’m a creep. I don’t even know if he likes guys.”

Quynh rolls her eyes. “They can be discrete; besides, they can find out if he’s into guys for you.”

Joe shakes his head, firmly. “No thank you. I just wanted to know if we’re playing them next week.”

“Ah, right! Yes, we are.”

He grins in spite of himself. Finally, he might get to see Nicky again.

Quynh looks amused as she observes his smile. “I’ll be quiet,” she promises. “Your crush is safe with me.” She winks, and Joe groans.

“Forget I said anything!” he says, as they exit the building and start the walk back towards campus. She nods, and thankfully, changes the subject. They chat as they head to their respective dorms, and she heads off with a friendly wave and an offer for some extra skating practice.

He just might take her up on it. He has less than a week to improve enough to impress Nicky.

*

Joe sits in his econ class on Monday morning and stares in disbelief at the words written up on the white board. It’s the last week of class before finals, and apparently their TA is offering an exam review session tomorrow evening, at precisely the same time as the hockey game against crew.

He groans internally, and tries to rationalize skipping the session. But it would be a bad move. He’s only taking this course because his parents want him to, and he’s not doing quite as well in it as the art and literature classes he’s much more into spending his time on.

Frustration sinks in. He’s been sustaining this tiny crush on the hopes that Nicky might also be looking forward to seeing him again, but without the game tonight – and then the long winter break coming up – the chances Nicky will even remember who he is by the time they see each other again seem low. Maybe it’s time to give up on it.

*

The week flies by, thankfully; classes and end-of-semester work are ramping up enough that Nicky barely has time to think outside of studying and squeezing in training sessions. Tuesday rolls around and he’s determined to carve out time for hockey; the anticipation has been building for far too long for him to miss it.

Nicky gets to the rink early and hangs around in the skate changing room as everyone else filters through. He’s pleased that Quynh, who walks in with Andy and Lykon, says hello to him too, then tries to look busy as they all put their skates on and get right out on the ice.

Every time a new figure appears in the doorway he looks up in excitement, his heart rate rising slightly, but none of the figures are Joe. At last, he has to give up and get out on the ice – the game is going to start, and he doesn’t want to miss the first faceoff. Maybe Joe will show up late again.

*

Joe never shows. The game is fine – they eke out another win over rugby, just barely, and Andy is happy again, though Quynh keeps rolling her eyes over her girlfriend’s delight. Nicky does have a lot of fun – he scores a few times, and rugby really is a well-matched team, so the game is quite thrilling – but he thinks perhaps it’s time to forget about his silly crush. Joe probably only came to that one game as a favor to his roommate, and the chances that they’ll run into each other again are too low to let it occupy so much of his thoughts.

Finals week arrives, and Nicky takes to spending hours working in the great hall of the science building, which is the closest academic building to his dorm, and features particularly comfy chairs. He’s working late one evening – it’s past midnight, but he’s been making good progress on his final paper for his religion seminar – when he abruptly awakens and realizes that he’d dozed off in the middle of a sentence. He takes that as a sign to pack up for the night, and heads back up the short hill to his dorm, entering through a side door that leads into the basement level, then starting on the stairwell. He’s so sleepy he barely registers the sound of a door opening behind him and someone starting to climb the stairs behind him.

Then, “Nicky?” he hears. He turns around to see the face of cute rugby guy a few steps down, looking surprised but - pleased, definitely pleased - to see him.

Nicky’s face turns hot instantly. Joe is just as handsome as he’d been weeks ago, and he’s wearing a green Henley that hugs his chest nicely, along with dark jeans and sharp boots. Nicky feels like a slob in comparison. He hadn’t given a second thought to the finals week uniform of hoodie and slouchy sweatpants he’s worn all day (or maybe for two days now), but now, in the face of Joe’s radiance, he wants to melt into the staircase.

“Joe!” he says, trying to smile like a normal person. “Haven’t seen you at hockey lately.” It sounds lame in his head, but it’s pretty much the only thing they have to talk about, so he goes with it.

Joe looks genuinely frustrated as he replies, “I know! I’ve been wanting to play, but things have been too crazy. I got skates though! And I’ve been practicing. So watch out.” And he winks. He legitimately winks.

It’s- a lot, but Nicky manages to recover and return with, “Rugby is down 0-2, so I’m not too worried,” and smiles a little to show that he doesn’t really mean the jab.

“Okay, okay,” Joe says, grinning, and gestures towards his backpack. “Working late?”

“Yeah, trying to finish up a paper for my religion seminar. I fell asleep in one of those chairs in the great hall, though,” he gestures back towards the science building, “so I figured it was time to return to my bed.”

“You live in this building?” Joe asks, and Nicky nods. “Nice! I was here freshman year too. Which floor?”

“Sixth”

“Same! Wow, same freshman hall. Small world.”

Nicky nods, relaxing into the conversation. He remembers now that Joe is easy to talk to, even with that dazzling smile. “And you? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, yeah, I had a group project meeting down in the basement seminar room. For my intro Italian class,” he adds, almost expectantly, and Nicky takes him up on the bait.

He switches to his native tongue and says, “Oh, you’re learning Italian, yes? The most beautiful language in the world? And why is that?”

Joe responds in slow, careful – but correct – Italian. “I am learning Italian because it is helpful for my study of art history,” he says, and if Nicky had once had any hopes of forgetting his crush on this boy, they’re all gone now.

He can’t help his surely goofy grin as he responds, in English again, “Not bad. Not bad at all. You have a talent for it.”

Joe ducks his head and grins. “I’m assuming it’s your native language?” he asks, and Nicky snorts.

“Ah, I wonder what gave it away. Yes, I’m from Genoa. Embarrassingly enough, my name is literally Nicoló di Genova. You’d think someone in my family would have gotten more creative at some point, but no.”

Joe laughs at that, sounding genuinely delighted. “Where are you from?” Nicky asks, realizing he has no clue what the answer is. He’d initially assumed Joe was American, but now talking to him more, his voice has a subtle accent that he hadn’t picked up on last time.

“I grew up in Tunisia, but my family moved to the Netherlands when I started high school,” Joe answers. “My name is Yusuf al-Kaysani, so I understand the whole going-by-Nicky thing. Not that Yusuf or Nicoló are all that hard to pronounce, but – something about them seeming foreign and people don’t even bother to try.”

“Ugh, yes!” Nicky says, surprised that Joe remembers their conversation about it from weeks ago, and a little bit thrilled at the sound of Joe saying his name with such ease. “Do you prefer Yusuf?”

Joe shrugs. “Kinda? But no one here calls me that. Really just my family. Either way is fine.”

Nicky nods, then realizes something. “So you speak Arabic, Dutch, and English? And you’re learning Italian? And you somehow barely have an accent when you speak English? Please teach me your ways.”

Joe – Yusuf – is smiling at him and Nicky doesn’t ever want him to stop. “I speak French too,” he says sheepishly, and adds, “The Dutch helped with the English. And time helps as well. But I wouldn’t worry too much; I like your accent.”

Nicky’s blush returns, and he thanks Joe, then changes the subject. “Are you going back to the Netherlands over break?”

Joe nods. “Yeah, it’s long enough to justify the flights. Are you going home?”

It had been a bit of a stretch to buy the second international plane ticket of the year, and Nicky doesn’t think his family will be able to manage it every year, but at least for his first year his parents had wanted him to come home. He doesn’t want to say all of that, so he just nods.

“That’ll be nice,” Joe says.

“Yeah.” It falls quiet, and Nicky wants to say something – to ask Joe to meet him for lunch, or dinner – but it’s finals week, and it really wouldn’t be wise. There’s so much he wants to know about Joe, and he thinks if they started really talking he’d want to talk to him forever. “I, uh, should really get to bed,” he says, and Joe nods in agreement.

They climb the rest of the stairs – Joe is just going to the first floor, to leave via the main entrance – and he pauses in the doorway. “It was good to see you, Nicky. Good luck with finals, and have a good trip home. See you on the ice next term, yeah?”

Nicky can’t hold his grin back. “Yes, definitely. Thanks, Joe. You too. Good night.” Joe lingers in the doorway for just a moment, then winks one more time and heads out.

Nicky is still grinning as he makes it back to his room and crawls into bed. He pulls out his phone to plug it in and set an alarm, then can’t resist opening Instagram. He taps the search bar, and enters “Yusuf.” Immediately, @yusuf_ak pops up. The account is private, but he can see that @lykonthropy follows him. No wonder he couldn’t find him before – he’d been searching the wrong name. Nicky hesitates before pressing the follow button. He knows following or friending someone doesn’t _always_ mean you’re interested, but he also knows that sometimes it does. Is he telegraphing too much by doing so? But what is there to lose? If Joe is somehow into him too, then it’s a good step in the flirting direction. If he isn’t – if he’s straight, Nicky reminds himself – he probably won’t read into it.

He presses _follow._

*

Joe can’t stop replaying the interaction in his head as he walks back to his dorm. It had taken him a second to realize that he recognized the glorious butt he was watching walk up the stairs in front of him. In his defense, it was pretty much at his eye level, and it was so late that he could be forgiven for zoning out in the direction of a very attractive rear end. The light gray material of the sweatpants had clung to it a little too well, and he’d had a sudden flashback to how incredible Nicky’s butt had looked playing hockey… and then his brain had caught up with itself and he’d realized it actually _was_ Nicky, finally in real life in front of him.

So much for giving up on his crush. He’d done his best to be less overtly flirtatious this time, not wanting to scare him away, but it was almost impossible with how irresistible Nicky looked, in his cozy sweats with his hair sticking out every which way and his _eyes_ , arresting even in their sleepiness.

He’d wanted to say something, anything, to keep their conversation going, but it was really quite late and he knew it wasn’t the best time. Still, the echo of Nicky praising his Italian and saying _Yusuf_ in that delightful accent of his keeps him warm as he walks through the cold back to his room.

When he finally gets in bed, he flicks through his phone and notices that he has a follow request on Instagram. His heart spikes up for just a second. Maybe..?

It is. @nicolooo_99 has requested to follow him. Joe resists the urge to make a celebratory fist pump, and taps _accept_ , then _follow back_. Tonight, it’s time for sleep. But tomorrow, it’s time for stalking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter; I would love to hear your thoughts! Please talk to me in the comments or over on tumblr at [insignem](https://insignem.tumblr.com/). Anything goes, particularly if you have any questions about the sports stuff or whatever else! Thank you for reading :)


End file.
